I had told him that it was a bad idea. "It has to be trick," I said," another lowly asura sent by that temptress, Surpanakha." He wouldn't listen though, "Whether its a demon or animal, I can kill it with my bow if need be," he stated proudly as he gather up his bow and arrows, "Take care of Sita while I'm gone." Then, he headed out into the woods.
Another 30 minutes passed, Sita wanted to go looking for Rama, but I managed to talk her down, too dangerous with the Rakshasas around. Then, there was a yell, " Sita!.. Lakshmana!.. Help!.." It sounded like Rama, but I knew better. Someone was up to no good. Sita, however, didn't agree.
Sita freaked out. She started yelling for Rama, pacing back and forth frantically. She wanted to go looking for him, and I tried to talk her out of it again, but she wouldn't have any of it. "Either you go find Rama, or I kill myself here and now!" she screamed. I could tell by the look in her eye that she meant it. Rama told me to stay behind and keep Sita safe from demons, but that wasn't going to do much good if she was already dead. So, I took a bow, grabbed my weapon, and ran out the door.
"Stay in the house!" I yelled back as I crossed the small clearing outside and entered into the forest.
~~~
I had gone for about a mile and a half when I ran straight into Rama. I took a minute to catch my breath, and I asked, "What happened?"
"I was chasing the golden deer, when I realized that it was moving too fast for a deer," he panted. From the heavy sweat on his brow and his rapid breathing, it appeared that Rama had been running for quite a while. He continued, "I had a bad feeling, so I shot an arrow at the beast, breaking its illusion. It had actually been a demon sent as a distraction. When it fell, it sent out a cry in my voice. I was worried about you two, so I ran back immediately."
Right then, a shrill scream broke through the woods, scaring a flock of birds who flew up into the air. The voice behind the scream seemed to belong to Sita. Before I could say anything, Rama was 20 yards away, dashing towards the shack.
~~~
By the time we had gotten back, whoever had taken Sita was long gone. The small house was ransacked. Tables and chairs were knocked aside. Even the walls were cracked in places, and there was a large crater in the center of the floor. I looked outside and found a set of tracks. It appeared that a large chariot had taken off from here recently, headed towards the east. I relayed the information to Rama, and we head towards the east.
After a few miles, we came upon a large body lying prostrate in the road. As we got closer, I realized that the creature was a large bird. It looked like it had been in a serious fight. It was heavily bruised and missing both wings. The area was covered in blood and feathers. A steady stream of blood leaking from a gaping wound in its neck soaked the ground around it.
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| Rama and Laksmana washing Jatayu's wounds Courtesy of Columbia.edu |
"Rama!" it spoke suddenly. By some miracle, the creature was still alive, and we realized, it was the great vulture Jatayu, an old friend of Rama's father. He had been so beaten and bloodied that he was unrecognizable. "Rama," he continued, " I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. The demon known as Ravana took Sita while you were away. I chased after and tried to fight him, but he easily defeated me."
"This is terrible," said Rama, " I can't believe anyone would do this. We'll see to your wounds. Which way did he go?" Before Rama finished the question, Jatayu was dead. We took some time to bury the bird, and continued our search.
That was over a week ago, and we haven't found anything yet. Rama is determined as ever, but I can tell from the look in his eyes that he's starting to worry. We recently got a tip that she might be South, towards Kiskinda. We're heading that way tomorrow.
Author's Note:
I based this story on the aftermath of the trick played on Rama by Maricha and Ravana. Maricha took the form of a golden deer and lured Rama from his home. While Rama was away Ravana came in and kidnapped Sita so that he could make her his wife. I started about halfway through and went from there. The story ends just before Rama meets Hanuman.
I wanted to try my hand at a first person narrative. So, I went for a kind of hard-boiled, gritty style and told the story from the perspective of Lakshmana, Rama's brother and right-hand-man. I was going for a more down to earth tone, focusing more on the details Lakshmana would have noticed.
Bibliography:
Narayan, R. K. (2006-08-29). The Ramayana: A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic (Penguin Classics) (p. 16). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. link
I like the different spin you did on the story of Mareecha and so on. I also like the fact that you inserted yourself as a main character. It gives it a different perspective to the overall story, which gives a different perspective to the characters. So, that was a wonderful idea and I applaud you for that. The only thing with having yourself as a title character is at times you can switch points of view quite a bit. I have done it before, many times. It happens to the best of us, I’m just saying this because I saw some of that switching in the story. Just be careful (I’ll take my own advice, if I remember it haha) and proofread!
ReplyDeleteHello Bill,
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job in retelling the story from first person’s point of view. The outline was similar to the original story of taking Sita while Rama was not with Sita. But you did have some good ideas in making it different from the original story. However, there was no ending to the story of whether they were able to find Sita or not. Nice read.
Bill, you did a great job on this story. I am glad that you made the story as first person from Lakshman's point of view. You did a great job retelling the scenes of Sita being kidnapped. That was my favorite part of the story so I am glad that you focused on that. Also, I am glad that you broke up the story nicely because it was easy to follow! Overall a great story!
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